If I wrote Britney Spears' "If You Seek Amy"

I fully realize how late I am on this...I know this song's been out for awhile now. But in my defense, I don't give a shit about Britney Spears or her terrible "music", so I never paid much attention to this song. However, the other day I was at a Subway, trying to choke down one of their sandwiches, and this song came on. I noticed the lyrics to the chorus, which go something like this:

"Love me, hate me, say what you want about me,
But all of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy"

Now, I will reluctantly grant that the phrase "if you seek Amy" is a tad clever, only because I didn't get the reference the first time I heard it (in case you don't get it, it's kind of a double entendre; it sounds like she's saying "F-U-C-K me"). But therein lies the problem; it doesn't work as a double entendre because the phrase itself, taken by its literal meaning, makes absolutely no sense in that context. It's like whoever wrote the lyrics burned out their cerebral cortex coming up with that line, and so decided to just haphazardly throw it in the song so they could get back to coloring with their Crayolas. "They're begging to if you seek Amy"? They're begging to do what if I seek Amy?! I think I speak for all of us when I say that I expect a certain level of literary prowess from my mindless pop garbage, and that line leaves me with blue balls...of the mind. Which are the second worst kind of blue balls (the first being actual blue balls).

I decided to illustrate how badly the songwriting ball was dropped by re-writing that chorus right here, right now, off the top of my head. This is how the song should have gone:

"Love me, hate me, but you'll get cerebral palsy,
Like all of the boys and all of the girls that're dying, if you seek Amy."

See how easy that was? I think my version is better for two main reasons:
1. It makes sense on two levels, thereby qualifying it to be a double entendre.
2. It implies that if you fuck Britney Spears, you'll get cerebral palsy. Which I'll admit is unlikely, but I really doubt she'd even notice she's saying that. All she wants is attention, and telling people your vagina will give them cerebral palsy is in at least, like, the top 10 ways to get people to notice you.